Wedding Etiquette for Your Guest
Congrats! You got an invitation to your dear friend or family member’s wedding. Truly one of the biggest honors! Before this special day, we want to shed light on some formalities that are a big part of your role.
There is no written rule book as to what a wedding guest's responsibilities are. However, to help wedding couples have a stress-free planning experience, we think it’s important to fill you in on wedding etiquette for guests.
Prior to the Event
First and foremost, pay attention to any detail the invitation or wedding website has displayed. The last thing you want is to show up in a backyard summer dress to a formal dress code event. The dress code is set in place because the couple has a vision. As a guest, it is part of your role to help their vision come to life through these ways.
I can’t say this enough, RSVP ON TIME! The RSVP date is crucial to so many deciding factors for the couple. Finalizing numbers with the caterer, rental company, wedding favors, transportation, and the list goes on. If you have any specific needs, provide them beforehand during your RSVP. This includes dietary, mobility, or a high chair for kids.
Help the couple significantly by doing this one thing on time.
Arriving to the Wedding
For destination weddings, most couples prefer you to not bring a gift to the event. If they have a registry, they would rather it is shipped directly to their home. It would be very hard for the couple to fit extra items in their suitcase on their return flight.
If the couple is not up for embarrassing surprises or silly games, please don’t plan this. There are a lot of older wedding traditions that many couples don’t like nowadays. Any elements of surprise mustn’t be brought to a wedding with respect to the couple.
Wedding Ceremony Etiquette for Guests
A very sacred part of the entire day is the ceremony. This is when you as a guest should be your most present. Some couples have signs to stay unplugged during this time. It’s so important to honor this decision.
Wedding Reception Etiquette for Guests
One of the most common things, and the biggest turn-off for wedding couples, that happens during the reception are surprise speeches. Your couple plans ahead of time for the flow of the event to go promptly. Doing this can completely throw off their wedding day schedule.
For example, any weddings serving meat are usually prepared on a timeline when speeches are completed. If served too early, the food gets cold, if served too late, that is a domino effect on the rest of the day.
If you have some words you would like to say, please communicate this to either the wedding planner or a couple of days or even weeks beforehand.
Wedding Etiquette Plus One
A plus one is not a standard or a requirement for any wedding. There can be so many factors that are considered when putting together a guest list. The venue’s capacity, the caterer that fits within a specific budget, and nowadays, even unexpected setbacks like COVID restrictions.
Some couples dream of keeping a very small and intimate group of guests. Being surrounded by people who all know one another. If your plus one is fairly new on your side, this might be another reason they are not invited.
For a destination wedding, we usually advise our couples to allow a plus one because not everyone wants to travel alone for a weekend. So even if you do get the opportunity to bring a plus one, we highly advise prioritizing spending time with the wedding couple before the event. This will allow for your plus one and the wedding couple to break the ice ahead of time.
As a guest, it’s your role to pay attention to how the couple communicates if a plus one is allowed. Most commonly you can tell by who the invitation is addressed to. If they have a wedding website, their Q and A section will also have this information. Try your best to stay away from asking the couple directly. They spend a lot of time clearing this up before sending out invitations.
How can you help the couple have the best day?
Go with the flow and enjoy the event to the fullest. If something is not “the way you would do it”, please keep those thoughts to yourself. The couple has put a lot of heart into every decision. Be mindful of this and do your best to be as easy going as you can be.
Wedding couples also LOVE when you mingle with guests outside of people you know. Share this wedding etiquette for guest guide with anyone attending an event this season! This is a celebration where they want all of their loved ones gathered.
